Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
