Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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