Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
