You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
