I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
