I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
