whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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