I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
