Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
