ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
