Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
