Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
