I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
