Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
