I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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