Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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