thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
