Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
