is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
As shirtless as possible
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
