idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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