That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
