i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
