your parents love me but you hate me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
