I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Everclear isn't food dammit
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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