Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
