i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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