life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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