How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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