i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
