do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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