Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
