Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
