he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
