so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
