So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
bring money and cleavage
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
