It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
