Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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