Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That accounts for only three of the penises
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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