mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
