Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
