I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
