So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
