My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
