plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
