his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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