No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
