I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
