My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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