im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
