thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
